When God walks With us through the storms of Chronic Illness.
We all have felt the intensity of seasons of trauma or seasons of walking through the unknown. The times in life when the path seems long and dark with no light in sight. Here lately, I’ve found myself battling with the unknown of chronic illness. Since 2017, my life has been filled with the ups and downs of chronic illness. Fighting to survive the severe relapses and remissions. Sometimes, my mind wonders if I will be capable of pulling out of the next relapse. Praying the next doctors appointment will somehow lead me to a recovery. I continually have to fill my mind with God’s Word. Casting down every thought that would bring fear. Casting down every thought that would bring Itself against the Word of God. Taking it one day at a time. God is taking my small steps of FAITH and HE is building in me an UNSHAKABLE FAITH.
This week the Lord, once again, reminded me of who I am in Christ. My husband drove me six hours to Vanderbilt in Nashville TN this week for a doctors appointment. We were all prayed up and pumped up! Full of faith and positivity! We had great expectations! When we got there, the doctors report was, “The prognosis for you getting better isn’t good and there’s really not much options left for treatment.” On the way home I could feel the tears accumulating in my eyes and I felt the Lord speak to my heart, “HEBREWS”. So I looked at my husband in our silence and said, “I need to read something in Hebrews.” He said, “Where did that come from?” I said, “The Lord spoke Hebrews to my heart for some reason.”
We made it home around 10:00 last night. At 10:00 every night I get a devotional from an Oswald Chambers book “The Utmost for HIS Highest”. This has long been one of my favorites and I try to read it every night. So I sat down on the couch and opened my email and start reading the devotional aloud to my husband. There at the very beginning was a scripture from Hebrews and at that moment I was overwhelmed with tears of joy and of God‘s love. He once again spoke life into my heart. HE said that HE sees the fear and disappointment that I was feeling. He also sees the storm that’s surrounding me. No matter how dark, rainy, cold or windy the storm gets, HE wants my eyes on him. HE is in control of the wind, the waves and the earth’s rotation, how could HE not be in control of every situation in my life? So He spoke into my human frailty and into my temptation to fear, “Sweet daughter, I see the storm, keep your eyes on me.” I wanted to share this very personal piece of my life, in hopes that it will help someone else. I pray it will bring encouragement and courage to stand strong against our difficulty without fear! This is what was written in the devotional:
June 5 Daily Devotional
He Himself has said….So we may boldly say… HEBREWS 13:5-6
My assurance is to be built upon God’s assurance to me. God says, “I will never leave you,” so that then I “may boldly say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear’ ” (Hebrews 13:5-6). In other words, I will not be obsessed with apprehension. This does not mean that I will not be tempted to fear, but I will remember God’s words of assurance. I will be full of courage, like a child who strives to reach the standard his father has set for him. The faith of many people begins to falter when apprehensions enter their thinking, and they forget the meaning of God’s assurance— they forget to take a deep spiritual breath. The only way to remove the fear from our lives is to listen to God’s assurance to us.
What are you fearing? Whatever it may be, you are not a coward about it— you are determined to face it, yet you still have a feeling of fear. When it seems that there is nothing and no one to help you, say to yourself, “But ‘The Lord is my helper’ this very moment, even in my present circumstance.” Are you learning to listen to God before you speak, or are you saying things and then trying to make God’s Word fit what you have said? Take hold of the Father’s assurance, and then say with strong courage, “I will not fear.” It does not matter what evil or wrong may be in our way, because “He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you….’ ”
Human frailty is another thing that gets between God’s words of assurance and our own words and thoughts. When we realize how feeble we are in facing difficulties, the difficulties become like giants, we become like grasshoppers, and God seems to be nonexistent. But remember God’s assurance to us— “I will never…forsake you.” Have we learned to sing after hearing God’s keynote? Are we continually filled with enough courage to say, “The Lord is my helper,” or are we yielding to fear? From My Utmost for His Highest Updated Edition
My Utmost for His Highest © 1992 by Oswald Chambers Publications Association, Ltd. Original edition ©
Scripture taken from the New King James Version.
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